Little Oscar Died Today

Of all our losses in recent years, this one hit us the hardest.

I have never known a dog more devoted to a person than Oscar was to Alayne, nor a person more devoted to a dog than she was to Oscar.  And now he's gone.

Alayne's "best little dog buddy ever," as she called him, died this morning.  It was 4 a.m.  Oscar was in his favorite place, doing his favorite thing, which was sleeping in our bed curled up next to Alayne.  That's when his little heart gave out.

I had woken up at 2:20 a.m. for some reason -- very odd for me -- troubled by something but not sure what.  I finally got out of bed and headed to the kitchen to get something to eat, checked email, read a little, and then went back to the bedroom a few minutes before 4 a.m.  I had just settled down and was trying to fall asleep when I suddenly heard quiet sobs coming from Alayne.

I bolted up in bed and asked her what was wrong. 

"Oscar's dead," she cried.  "He just died!"

Alayne had come awake when she heard a tiny burp-like sound from him, reached out to pet him, and realized something was wrong ... he hadn't responded.  As she ran her hand down his body, she could feel the bed was wet underneath him from urine leaking out.  And then came the awful realization that he was lifeless.

She got up, carrying his body in her hands, and walked into the bathroom.  She sat on the floor, cradling him and crying.  I rushed over and wrapped my arms around her.  I led her back to the bedroom, and we both sat on the bed, crying over this deaf, old miniature Dachshund who had come to mean so much to us.

Oscar was already 10 years old when he arrived at the ranch.  He had belonged to a little boy who absolutely doted on Oscar, and Oscar loved the little boy in return.  They did everything together, and Oscar would follow his friend everywhere, never letting him get out of sight.  At night Oscar slept on the little boy's pillow.  The boy and his Dachshund were inseparable.  But the boy's parents were convinced their son was spending too much time with Oscar and not enough with "real" friends, so they decided to take his little dog away and give him to someone else.  They came up with all kinds of reasons why Oscar had to go, but we learned from a relative what the real motivation was ... and the relative was responsible for Oscar coming to the sanctuary. 

The little boy's family had been Oscar's third home thus far in his 10 years, and so when he arrived here he was scared, confused and terribly anxious.  But after hiding for days, he started coming out of his shell, and within a few weeks Oscar had attached himself to Alayne.  He had decided he was going to devote himself to her, just like he had to the little boy.  From that point on Oscar worshipped her. 

Alayne was everything to Oscar.  He would patiently wait by the window to keep an eye on her when she was outside, and then rush to the door, jumping up and down, barking, to greet her when she returned.  Oscar followed her from room to room, always staying by her side.  She had special "Oscar places" stashed around the house so he'd have a place to snuggle and burrow wherever she ended up.  Early on I started calling him "Alayne's minion," as I've posted before.

She always took him in the truck when she went to Missoula or Helena, sharing cheeseburgers on the road with her little Dachshund friend.  He liked going in the truck so much that Alayne would have to take him along when she took the mail out to our postbox, about 1/4 mile away.  Oscar would see Alayne with a stack of mail in her hand and he'd start barking, jumping up and down again, demanding to go for a ride.  Even when the truck wasn't going anywhere, he just loved being in it.

His relationship with me was much more complex.  While he and Alayne adored each other, Oscar wasn't wild about sharing her with me.  At bed time, when I would lean over to kiss Alayne good night, Oscar would invariably rush out from underneath the covers to start licking her on the face.  Then he'd stop, look over at me and growl, and go back to licking her on the face.  It got to the point where I'd have to hold the growling Dachshund back with one hand so I could get a decent kiss.  (I wish I were making this up but I'm not; that's what I had to put up with for the past six years!)  At times I'd finally growl back at him, "She's my wife, buddy, not yours!"

But as much as he thrived on Alayne's adoration, there was a part of Oscar that wanted to be treated like a big, rough-and-tumble dog.  So he loved to roughhouse with me.  At night Alayne usually headed to bed first, and when I made my way to the bedroom, Oscar would be lying on top of the bed, staring in my direction, waiting for me to come through the door.  He'd growl, leap to his feet and then rush to the edge of the bed, barking ferociously at me.  I'd chase him around the bed, then he'd come running at me, snarling and snapping and acting like he wanted to chew my hand off.  (Fortunately in recent years he only had one tooth left.)

To bring the wrestling match to a close, all I'd have to do is bend down to kiss him .. and he'd suddenly stop, reach up with his little head, and start licking me on the face.  Then he'd turn to look at Alayne -- "See, I won that round, didn't I?" -- bark triumphantly, and head over to burrow under the covers next to her.

Only to come roaring back out when I tried to get that goodnight kiss.

This morning, hours after he died, Alayne was still holding Oscar in her arms.  She couldn't let go.  I offered to drive him to our vet clinic in Helena for cremation, but she insisted on taking him herself.  "It's our last ride together," she told me.  Honestly, today I am grieving as much for her as I am for him.

Finally, Alayne mustered up the emotional strength to get in the truck.  We wrapped Oscar in a fleece blanket and I laid him on the passenger seat.  And off they went together, one last time.

Comments

[Cara]

I just wanted to say that I am almost a wreck, sitting here at work, after reading this... all I can truly say is Praise God for people like you...

Cara, Concord, NC

[christine]

Alayne - You have my deepest sympathies. I, too, had a little dachshund named Oscar - I adopted him at age 7, with a terribly leaky heart valve. He loved me unconditionally for 3 years, and is now at the Bridge - I have a feeling that he's found your little Oscar by now, and will keep him company. (((((((hugs))))))))

[lisamast]

Alayne,
So sad to hear about Oscar. My heart goes out to you and Steve. I hope you find comfort in the fact that you gave Oscar the very best six years of his life and his final resting place is where is was so loved.
The RDR is a truly amazing place for so many special animals who find comfort and love. Keep up the good work!!

[Lisa]

I am so sorry for your loss. I know that it is a hard thing to go through. A month ago today I had to make the very hard decision to put down my 12 year old Sissy. She was not able to walk hardly anymore and I know she is watching over me now just as Oscar is watching over you and the little boy. I just want to say thank you for all that you do for all the animals...bless you both.

[Sheryl]

I am crying...and am so sorry for your loss. At least he died in the bed and didn't suffer and struggle too much. Alayne is in my prayers, she and Oscar and you are blessed to loved each so much.

[Nancy & Joe & Chloe]

Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water, and sunshine and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who have been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; his eager body begins to quiver.

Suddenly, he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together...

Dear Alayne & Steve, We are so very, very sorry for your loss of your beloved loving, sweet Oscar. I can tell how much you'd loved him in your story as well how much Oscar love you'd also. You'd gave Oscar a very loving beautiful home with so much love & loving care. We understand your pain that you'd are going through. Oscar will always be a part of you as he will live on in your hearts & minds & souls for ever. Oscar was so very lucky to have found you'd as well you'd finding him also. Buy you taking Oscar in you filled his life with so much love & happiness as well he filled your life with so much love & happiness also. Oscar was meant to find you'd from being so torn apart between house's & people & than he found his for ever very happy & loving home with you'd. Oscar went to sleep laying in a very nice warm & soft bed, next to his most loving & caring favorite people in the world, that he adore & loved & treasured so very much. Oscar's passing was easier for him as he was with the people who really cared & adore & loved him so very much & being with you as he cared & adore & loved you so very much. We pray for God to give you strength & to heal your broken hearts get through such a very hard & sad time in your life's. Like someone had said to you in one of these messages, that Oscar is not really gone, he is ahead. And one day you'd will be together again once you cross the rainbow bridge. And when you do get to the rainbow bridge gate, Oster will be there waiting at the gate to great you, & you'd will be together again & you'd will never be apart again. I will keep you'd in my Thoughts & Prayers. God Bless You Both & May God Be With You'd in your time of sorrow during a very difficult time.

Joe & Nancy & Chloe
From Michigan

[Margaret]

Alayne,

Words cannot express my sorrow for your loss. My sweet Jasmine, who has only been with us for less than 8 months, is just like Oscar has been with you--a loving and constant companion. Whenever I'm home, she is there with me. I can't imagine how hard it will be when she eventually goes over the Rainbow Bridge.

I'm glad, however, that Oscar was snuggled in with you, in his favorite place with his most favorite person, when his time came and that he was lucky enough to have found you both.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

[Veronika]

I am so sorry for your loss. He was so loved and He so loved you in return. That bond can never be & is never broken. God Bless You both.

[Tonya]

Oh, how heartbreaking! What a beautiful, heartrending post. It's making me cry. You're certainly going through a rough patch right now. The only consolation for you is that when he went he was happy, safe, and didn't know a thing about it. You gave him a wonderful life, and at least this time you were spared the awful duty of deciding to end his life for him. Our little dachshund-mix is getting to be senior, and I hope that when his time comes, years and years and years from now, he will slip quietly away in his sleep, just like Oscar.

[Brenda]

I am stunned at Oscar's death. I have no words to express my grief or any meaningful words of comfort for you except that I am sorry. You have my sympathy. We will miss little Oscar so much.

[Margaret]

Alayne, Dear special little Oscar spared you of making that toughest of decisions for him. That doesn't spare your loss, but I believe it is a true gift to know he left quickly, and was not suffering a long period.

All of his time with you all was a precious treasure for both of you. I cried on my commute home (Renton S curves) thinking of your last ride together. Our hearts are with you. Oscar will always be, too. Blessings and peace to you all.

[Micki]

You people are truly wonderful people.

[Lahna Zandi]

I am so sorry to hear about Oscar. Reading the story of how Oscar came to the tanchand how he loved it there, made me happy and sad at the same time! I hope your hearts recover soon!
ox The Zandi Family

[kim]

I am so sorry to hear about Oscar. His story as a minion reminds me very much of my old dog Sam. I know how that bond can be so strong & my thoughts & prayers are with you during this difficult time.

[Deborah Porterfield]

Alayne,

I read the blog this morning with tears streaming down my face. I am so very sorry for your loss. This just breaks my heart. I also have a little mini dachshund who will turn 10 this summer and she is my entire world, giving me such unconditional love. I hope that you find some peace and comfort in knowing that you gave him so much love and kindness. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[angie]

Dear Alayne,
I know your heart is broken. He was your child. I will keep you in my prayers. I had a night of loss with my Caleb a few years ago. To the bathroom floor was the first place I went. I too did not want to let go of his body. Only time will ease your pain, a lot of time.. Take care.

[Robin]

I am very sorry that Oscar is no longer with you.

[Shelli Smith]

Dear Alayne and Steve,
I am so sorry for your loss of little Oscar. My heart broke when I saw the blog update. The relationship created when Oscar entered your lives is once in a lifetime. He was a lucky dog, and I'm sure he knew how much you both loved him... as much as he loved you.

[Lisa & Buddy]

Deeply saddened to learn of your loss of this lovely treasure.
I am certain sweet Oscar will remain with the ranch forever in spirit.

[Lori Leduc]

I am sorry to hear about Oscar's passing. I lost my mini dachsie, Sasha puppy, alomost one year ago and I understand how you must be feeling. My thoughts are with you during this time. I hope that you try to remember all the good times that you shared and know that you gave him some of the best years of his little life.

[Regis Dalton]

Dear Alayne, My heart broke for you as I read Steve's blog last night. All of the sweet souls you have lost in the past months are shining stars in the Montana sky. Oscar is shining brightly upon you.

[kelli]

I am so very sorry for your loss of Oscar.

[Nancy Thomas]

My heart is broken for you. I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that God continues to give you the strength and the courage to continue loving the children as you do. Although you have the patter of so many three and four legged furbabys I know that Oscar's passing will leave a terrible void. May the promise of Spring bring you brighter days. Sending you hugs of comfort.

[rachel]

I am so, so sorry for your loss. Your story has brought me to tears each time I've read it because it reminds me so much of my relationship with my own dog. (Although my little guy is similarly devoted, his questioning terrier personality makes him more of a mama's boy than a minion.) I aspire to giving him the same amount of love, devotion, and compassion that you and Alayne show to all of your animals. I wish you both comfort and peace and thank you for making Oscar's final years so secure and happy.

[GiLe]

i cant think of any words to say to you Steve and Alayne, nothing would make it all better. at the moment, im crying my eyes out after reading about Oscar. i read ur blog everyday, checkin if u posted something new for that day. when i read ur blogs, i feel like i know all those animals, and each time one of them pass away, i cry for each one of them. im sure the way im feeling now is nothin compared to what you and Alayne might be feeling. im so sorry for ur loss. im again out of words, but i just wanna thank you both for giving Oscar and all the other animals a good and loving home. Im sure Oscar lived his life well bein at the ranch. hes now playin with his other friends at the rainbow bridge. lots of love to everyone at RDR.
Gile